Some things are just NOT supposed to have lumps:-
Custard Gravy Cheese Sauce and
Back in July, as we were passing through Preston Brook, the Skipper bought new ropes from a certain well-known chandlers. Two months later and the Skipper is not a happy bunny because he has noticed that lumps/swellings are growing on said ropes. So, as we passed through Braunston, the worst rope – the front one – was taken in to be exchanged.
It went something like this:-
John: I bought these ropes two months ago and they’re growing lumps.
Shop Assistant: Well, I’ve heard it all now. Ropes growing lumps?
John: Well you tell me what’s happening to them then. These lumps weren’t there when I bought them.
Shop Assistant: Ropes can’t grow lumps! They’re polypropylene! Plastic!
John: Well I’m not happy with them – I would like this one at least to be exchanged please.
Shop Assistant: It’s a rope! There’s nothing wrong with it. It just got wet that’s all.
John: It’s been on a boat! Ropes on boats DO get wet! That doesn’t mean they’re allowed to get lumpy. I don’t want lumpy ropes. It’s clearly a faulty batch and the manufacturers need to be informed.
Manager: (Who had obviously been lurking in the shadows listening) Do you speak Taiwanese?
John: Obviously not but one of your reps ought to be able to.
Manager: Oh, just cut him a new length – we can sell this one.
John: At a reduced price I hope.
Shop Assistant: (returning with a new length of rope) Are you happy with that, Sir?
John: Yes thank you. I’ll be back with the others if they get any worse, that is, if they get any more lumps!! Goodbye.
Now I have to ask, is this really how a major retail outlet should conduct business/treat its customers? Whatever, BOATERS BEWARE! If you go in to buy a 10m length of rope and you are offered a ready whipped and spliced one, CHECK IT FOR LUMPS!!!!!!