You Have To Laugh!

Oh no you don't!  You must Not!!  The Captain has officially said that it is NOT funny.  OK?  Got it?  Then I will continue:-

This morning was VERY windy.  I mean VERY windy.  The boat was blown sideways across the canal at a lift bridge but, after a bit of a struggle, the Skipper managed to navigate through.  The lock wheeler opted to continue to walk in order to make things a bit easier.  On approaching Somerton Deep Lock (it's called that for an obvious reason!) the boat was again swept off course.  The skipper struggled to get the boat back across the canal and secure the centre line to a bollard.  He then went to tie off the front rope.  WHOOPS!!

All I can say is that the score is now 15 all. I scored my points on Easter Sunday 2007 at Staines Bridge and I only blamed myself.  The Skipper blamed his useless ******* deck shoes!  Of course the deck shoes that NEVER, EVER let him down, the deck shoes that NEVER, EVER let him slip ........................... are in a large red Biffa bin at Cropredy!!!  (STOP laughing Ken & Sandra - you were told NOT to!!)
It was just as well that the grey combat trousers of that misadventure had been saved and laundered because they needed to replace the wet, green ones of today!
Where was I when all this was going on?
I was on my hands and knees by the top lock gate trying to remove a mass of weed which was menacingly waiting to wrap itself around our propeller.  I was also wrestling with a large piece of tree trunk intent on preventing me from opening the top gate.
Between us, however, we secured the boat and the skipper had yet another shower and change of clothes.  He stated, quite firmly, that we were staying put - lock mooring or not!!

Along comes another boat the other way.  I go to greet the arriving boater.
"Are you going through?" says he.
"Apparently not", says I.  "Do you know of a good divorce lawyer?"  (I WAS only joking!!)

Visiting boater is somewhat taken aback by this request and hesitates.  Taking advantage of his hesitation I say,  "Perhaps YOU are a divorce lawyer?  Even better!"
"Divorce is a very costly procedure these days", he stutters - obviously just wanting to get away as quickly as possible from this totally mad woman.
Together, we emptied the lock and I helped him to do just that.

By that time another boater was coming our way and another had arrived at the bottom of the lock wanting to go up.  The skipper gave in and took our boat through.  At one point it seemed that lots of weed was about to wrap itself around our propeller!  Well, I wonder how that got there?  Surely conscientious lock wheelers would ensure that debris be removed before letting a boat into a lock?  Honestly!!  You just can't get the staff these days can you?

Now - the BIG question is:_

If/when there's a next time:-
Will he fall?  Will he be pushed?  Or ......... will he just jump?

JRAllebone and Ltd Company.  Est 1974